Dooper

The third kid often gets the shaft...unless you have a personality the size of Danielle Constance Kane a/k/a Dani a/k/a Dani Dooper a/k/a Dooper a/k/a Doops. Doops has been conspicuously absent from this Blog, due solely to her dad's laziness, not her lack of qualifying shenanigans.

Dani is a dancer, a fashionista, and an over all riot. And, as of yesterday, she is a two wheel bike rider! Dooper showed the Barbie bike who was boss yesterday, handling her pink and flowered "hog" like a seasoned veteran cyclist. Way to go, Doops!!!

Allan Goldberg

As I texted Brent Goldstein this morning, "There aren't words." Brent's dear, childhood friend, and a man that I met and was privileged to call a friend, Allan Goldberg, lost his third and final battle with cancer. Allan was the executive director of First Descents, a very unique charitable organization which specializes in providing adventurous, soul healing excursions for young adults with cancer. The name "First Descent" derives from a kayaking term for the first trip (ever) down a rapid. Since most of the First Descent's camp patrons are first time kayakers, the name is very appropriate. The mission of First Descents is to take young adults with cancer on a week long excursion, away from it all - the cancer, the treatments, family, etc - and surround them in a cocoon of like-minded individuals to show them what they CAN accomplish. That cancer is not the end of the world. The programs run by First Descents are incredible and are very worthy of your investigation and donation.

As Brent's blog evinces, Allan was the reason - some would say "at fault" - for last year's team assault on the 2007 Leadville 100. Allan threw a challenge at Brent (never one to allow his foolish pride to dissuade him from doing something completely insane like Leadville) and Brent roped in me, Gary, Dean and Wobber for the race. It was an epic journey that I will never forget. Thank you Allan, at the very least, for being the impetus for the greatest challenge that I have ever faced.

I will remember Allan for his tireless efforts to help people and families affected by cancer to renew their sense of self, thereby affording them additional courage and purpose in their fights against cancer. I will remember the delight in Allan's face in Vail last year upon seeing the faces of Daryn, Arlyn and Bailey Goldstein and treating Brent's daughters as his own. Allan treated strangers as friends and friends like family. I am chagrined that I only met Allan last year but know that I am the better person for having Allan in my life for even such a short period of time. Rest peacefully, Allan.

Ovie Comes Up McHuge

Olivia, my oldest daughter, has played competitive soccer since the age of 6 when she played "up" on a Bethesda U-8 team. Soccer is her passion and she knows her passion well.

Today was the day for McSoccerfest and, as the title of the tournament suggests, it is sponsored by McDonalds. The format is 4 vs. 4, on a 50 yd x 35 yd field, no goalies, and two 10 minutes halves. It was like playing outdoor futsal. Joining Olivia on her team for McSoccerfest were Julia ("Whoolia") Dowling, Emily Tompkins, Hazel Horvath, and Brittney Burwell. It was a strong team and we were all excited for the opportunity to take on some great competition.

Olivia's Bethesda Academy Green u-9 team was placed in a division with the Loudon White Tigers, DSC98s (Damascus), and SAC Premier Team A. Both Loudon and SAC (Soccer Club of Columbia, Maryland) were teams well known to us from various tournaments over the past two years. Both soccer clubs field very impressive players and are very well coached. SAC, in particular, has four different level teams at the U-9 level, ranked A-D in terms of soccer prowess. The four different teams are taken from the literally hundreds of girls that try-out for a spot on a SAC team. The "Premier" team in Olivia's division represented SAC's cream of the crop.

Olivia's first game was against DSC. They quickly dismantled an over matched opponent, beating them 7-0. All this was witnessed by the SAC players and parents sitting field side. Not to be outdone, SAC played the next game against Loudon and thoroughly thumped a very good team, 8-0. The gauntlet had been thrown.

After a snow cone and some time in the shade, Olivia's next game was against Loudon. As fierce as Team Green came out in the first game, they were a little sleepy against Loudon. The final score was 5-2. Again, SAC players watched and grinned as Team Green "struggled" to a win over a team easily defeated by the mighty SAC.

As expected, SAC next played DSC and mercifully kept the score under double digits. 9-0. The mighty SAC had once again spoken; however, Team Green was no where to be seen, choosing to hang out in a common area pavilion rather than watch SAC eviscerate DSC. Gotta love mind games with 9 year olds!

And so the stage was set for the marquee match-up: Team Green vs. SAC. I'll spare you the build-up WE WON 3-2. It was an awesome game. Two very well matched teams. Bethesda wanted it more and it showed. Onto the championship game against, who else, the mighty SAC. A team now hell bent on avenging their only loss.

The tone of the championship game was very different than the prior game. SAC was angry. They clearly felt that they had been beaten by an inferior opponent. Time to prove them wrong...again. The girls on both teams played their hearts out. Bethesda captured an early lead on a great goal in the first half. Then, towards the end of the half, SAC committed a foul that gave Bethesda a penalty kick. The PK's in this tournament were taken as follows: the ball was placed at the center field line, 25 yards from the goal. The goal, all 4' x 3' of it, stood wide-open, undefended. All players lined up on the center field line, waiting to chase the ball after it was kicked. For a 9 year old, it had to seem like those NHL contests where you shoot the puck from center ice at the goal with an opening only wide enough for a puck to fit into. Ovie was selected to take the kick and, much to every one's dismay, sent it wide of the goal. 1-0 Bethesda at half.

SAC came out on fire in the second half, quickly evening the score. Then they went ahead. Our girls were fighting hard but SAC took advantage of a few opportunities and converted. With three minutes to go, Coach Chris called for a substitution and removed Olivia from the game. To say I was mystified would be understatement. Why remove your best offensive weapon when you are behind with limited time left on the clock? Play went on for two more minutes until Bethesda was awarded a corner kick in the SAC zone. Again, substitution, and back comes Ovie. The ref turns to Chris and yells, "Only 1 minute left, coach." Olivia heard that too. I saw her expression change from a tired 9 year old to a kid on a mission. Something clicked in Olivia's brain. Not today. Not on my watch. Olivia took possession of the ball off of the corner kick, darted towards the middle of the filed, and slanted hard back to the goal line, shaking the first defender. She was now about 10 feet from the goal ahead on her right. Two SAC defenders raced towards Olivia, one directly in front of her, and one to her left. About 10 yards away was Emily Tompkins now wide open. I thought for sure Ovie would deal the ball to Emily for a wide open, albeit 15 yard shot at the goal. Instead, Ovie used the outside of her left foot to push the ball towards the middle of the field, shaking the defender immediately in front of her. Just as the defender from her left came within a foot of Olivia, she struck the ball with the outside of her right foot, sailing it into the open net. I was awe struck. It was amazing. The kids and parents were going crazy. We went from defeat to a tie in the blink of an eye on a highlight reel goal. Bethesda held off SAC for the final thirty seconds and we went to the tiebreaker. Ugg. Penalty kicks.

Each team was given 5 penalty kicks. Best of five wins the medal. Bethesda went first. Wide right. SAC went next, wide right. And so it went on until Bethesda's last shooter, Julia "Tooth Picks" Dowling stepped up and deftly sent her ball rolling, rolling, rolling deep into the back of the net!!! 1-0 Bethesda. SAC had the last shot. The SAC girl's toe-punt fell short and wide and the celebration was on. Bethesda Academy Green are the McSoccerfest U-9 Girls Champions!




L - R: Brittney Burwell, Hazel Horvath, Emily Tompkins, Ovie, and Julia "Toothpicks" Dowling

Short Memories Suck.

When it started, I was excited. A quarter of the way through it, I was exhilerated. Halfway through it, and I was puking my guts out. Three fourths done and I was promising my body (mostly my taint and legs) that I would never allow the brain and its asshat wingman, the Ego, to talk any of us into the present madness again. 50 yards from being done, the brain - that wiley mass of grey noodles - moved in for checkmate, providing thrills and emotions that sealed the fate for this year. That's right. I got my Yippee! Card from Ken and Merilee, signaling my acceptance into the 2008 Leadville Trail MTB 100.

Also accepted (for torture) were last year's Team First Descent members Brent Goldstein, Gary Morris, Dean Gregory, and John "Wobber" Wontrobski. Joining us for the madness this year for their first Leadville 100 are DC locals Dave Flyer, Neil Markus, and Larry Weinberg.

If the definition of insanity is performing the same task over and over again expecting a different result, get some pajamas and a straightjacket warmed up for me. In the interim, you'll find me in Frederick, climbing Coxey Brown and company in preparation for The Race.

Let the madness continue...

I'm Hungry

It's that time of year, once again. Yom Kipur, the day of atonement. In other words, a day to be hungry. One of the ideas behind fasting is that it allows you to concentrate on all of the less admirable things that you have done during the past year. I think about when I'm going to eat next and, I'm CERTAIN, I'm not the only one with this thought.



It should be disclosed (passive tense is so lame) that I am a progressive agnostic. I have grown progressively less interested in religon and faith as I have lived my life. Religon is all too often used for a crutch, excuse, justification, or other nefarious purpose. Terrorists kill in the name of religon. "Rehabilitated" substance abusers often turn to religon as part of their healing. It's crap. All of it. Besides, the rules of religon (Ten Commandments, Bible, for example) set forth basic pillars of human descency, healthly practices, and common sense. I do not need the threat of being smited hanging over me to do what's right (most of the time).


But back to Yom Kippur. I attend temple for the sake of my children. I was a Bar Mitvah and was confirmed. Both experiences were very positive and important for me and my family. I want my children to have exposure to these same experiences and then, when they are of a certain age, they can decide that it's all crap as their father has. Which leads me to today's amusing musing involving religon. We were attending the "community service" at KI, Jill's temple in Allentown, PA. After a quick game of Simon Says in Hebrew (I kid you not), the rabbi offered all families to come up to the podium for an individual blessing. Hey, the service is about an hour, Simon Says only took about 15 minutes and the rabbi needed some filler. Brilliant move!! So we all went up to the bimah, stood in front of the rabbi, and received a blessing. As we were walking off the bimah, Dooper turns to me and says in a tone laden with contempt that no 4 year old should know, "What was THAT all about?" She nailed the inflection. It was a perfectly uttered rhetorical question. And while I stood amazed at my daughter's remarkable grasp of timing, tonality, and wit, I started to fear what the future may hold. That's the sassy stuff that I will be hearing for many years to come. I'm in trouble. Then again, with three daughters, I knew that.


I hope everyone has an easy fast. Happy New Year. Let's eat!

Not Your Average Back To School Night

Last night was back to school night (BTSN) for Luxmanor Elementary. Jill and I went because we are oh so interested in the curriculum for our 1st and 3rd grade girls. (Perform "bullshit" sneeze here). In truth, Jill is a highly coveted parent since she volunteers in all of our daughters' classes every week. Teachers love her. They tolerate me because of her. Such is my life.

As I sat in the auditorium last night, pretending to take interest in the 3rd grade teachers' PowerPoint presentation, I noted the conspicuous absence of most of Jill's girlfriends' husbands - i.e. my neighborhood crew of boys. Had I missed the memo? Was there an unofficial boycott (no pun intended) of BTSN? Did everyone but me get a hall pass out of BTSN? I felt hoodwinked. Lead astray. I didn't land on Plymouth Rock....(name the movie and win a prize).

And then there was Beth O. Bobb a.k.a Betty. Side Bar: Betty is a term of endearment given to Beth by Daryle for any number of reasons. Here are mine: Betty is slang for an attractive woman. She fits the bill there. Betty Rubble was a great neighbor and quintessential mother and housewife. Check and check. And because Justin is like Bam Bam since he punches me in the nuts whenever he sees me, the Betty Rubble motif sticks.

Beth is/was 9 months pregers, set to be induced tomorrow, Friday, September 7th. Yesterday, Betty went to the OB and was 3 cm dilated. She was told not to worry. Skip ahead to last night's BTSN. Betty sat confidently in the auditorium, dutifully taking notes on the PowerPoint presentation while simultaneously noting the start of some contractions. 1998 Betty would have been off to Sibley at the first contraction. 2007 Betty, a veteran of three prior births, was far more cavalier. How cavalier? At 8:30 her water broke while listening to a presentation from the 4th grade teachers. At 8:34 she left Luxmanor and was driven to her house to pick up Daryle for the trip to Sibley. At 8:36, after Daryle realized that my call to him that Betty was in labor and on her way home was not a practical joke, they began the ride to Sibley. 8:45, Daryle speeds down MacArthur, praying that a cop stops him so that he could yell that his wife is in labor, hear an apology from a cop, and get a police escort to the hospital. We all have fantasies, DB. Nice try. 8:48, DB blows through red light #1 and trips the red light camera. $100 to Mayor Fenty, thank you. 8:50, DB runs red light #2 and trips the red light camera. Mac Gary refers the matter to Roger Goddell for breach of the new Personal Conduct Policy. 8:51, DB runs red light #3 which triggers an Amber Alert and sends the National Security Warning Level to Orange. 8:56, the Betty Mobile screeches to a halt in the Fire Lane at Sibley (fine TBD). Betty and DB race to the elevators to get to the 3rd floor birthing center. 9:00, Betty and DB arrive at third floor birthing center and demand Room #3, the site of the three prior Bobb births. 9:00:15, Betty told Room #3 occupied. 9:00:20, Betty begins hunger strike to get Room #3. 9:00:25, famished, Betty calls off hunger strike. 9:00:30, Betty places fingers in both ears, closes her eyes and, while shaking her head back and forth, yells, "La la la la. I'm not listening! I'm not listening!" Justin, awake and at home, feels a sudden, inexplicable bond with mommy. 9:00:35, Betty reluctantly agrees to go into Room #9 only because it's three times better than Room #3. 9:00:45, Betty demands epidural. 9:00:50, Betty's demand for drugs denied. 9:00:55, Betty throws the red instant replay review flag. 9:00:59, the play stands as called. There will be natural childbirth. 9:01, nurses and doctors swarm. 9:02, Daryle makes a tee time for tomorrow. 9:03, Betty pushes. 9:03:30, DB starts a new company. 9:04, Betty pushes again. 9:04:30, DB determines that the trash bags in the birthing room will fit his kitchen trash can and he "secrets" away a roll or two. 9:05, baby Bobb the Fourth (a beautiful little girl) is thrust into the world. 9:05:05, Betty and Jill become the two toughest chicks in Luxmanor for surviving natural childbirth.

And so it was that the yet unnamed Bobb baby #4 came to be. Naming rights are still available. Congrats to the entire Bobb family. Welcome back to the wonderful world of diapers.

UPDATE: Say, "hello" to Lucy Madison Bobb.

Boo Boo the Bike Rider!!!

Yesterday was a milestone in the Kane family. After months of senseless procrastination, I finally got over myself and took Meredith a.k.a. "Boo-Boo" (again, no one in the Kane family can have just one name; see Woody) to the track at Tilden Middle School and taught her how to ride a bike.

Mere is a true cross-section of her parents: she has her father's looks, her mother's kind personality, and a quiet intensity that very few recognize. Her sweetness is an excellent mask for the burning internal desire to perfect all that she attempts. That became abundantly clear yesterday as she did lap after lap on her lavender two wheeler, replete with streamers on the handlebar ends, trying desperately to master her new biking skills.

As I tucked Boo in last night, I told her how proud I was of her accomplishment and it then dawned on me that yesterday was a BIG day. My kid learned how to ride a bike. That's a skill that she will use for the rest of her life. It's not as important as becoming potty trained but it is of that ilk.

So it has been said, let it be written: September 3, 2007: the day that Boo Boo Bear, became Boo Boo the Bike Rider!